Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
