we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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