Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
