Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize