just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
