marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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