I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Screwed.edu
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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