rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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