The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
