I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
