do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize