Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
