yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
