have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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