I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
wanna go halves on a baby?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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