once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Mom said you looked used
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I need a beard to bite.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize