You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Randomize