Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
