i don't like sucking hair
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
