If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
