...so i touched it.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
