Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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