I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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