I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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