Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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