Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
