hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
