I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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