Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
