we were pretty classy up until the second keg
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
