Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize