How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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