And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
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you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
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He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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