Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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