She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
