Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
