i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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