the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
