The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize