I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Randomize
