ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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