i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
