i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
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you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
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I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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