I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
