i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
