nut hugger
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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