Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
