i permit you to call me
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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