I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
