Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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