Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
