I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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