I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Randomize