hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
