Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
