He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Just high enough for therapy.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
