that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
