You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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