They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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