Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize