okay pat passed out under dana's car
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
