if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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