I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
