carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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